


lost boy

by Saucyspaghetti



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Coming Out, F/F, Femslash, I Don't Even Know, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Sad, Straight! Lauren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 17:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9502706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saucyspaghetti/pseuds/Saucyspaghetti
Summary: Camila loved Lauren and wanted to be with her. It was simple as that.Until it wasn't.-or: "Well you never were a best friend in my mind, anyway," Camila muttered, her gaze fixated on the ground."Maybe we could be something else."Camila's head snapped up in surprise, her eyes wide. "What?"Lauren wore a small shy smile, her hands behind her back. "If you want.""But I thought you liked boys.""Wouldn't hurt to try, right?"





	1. forever a lost boy at last

**Author's Note:**

> I've posted fanfiction before but never on here so... I might be posting more stories.

_I'm gay._

Those two words alone could either set Camila free from the ever-so-restricting cage or trap her in a box that would force her to conform to society's standards.

She wanted to come out, she really did, however the impending threat of not being accepted urged her to seal her lips shut.

She felt like she had no home, no safe haven to find solace in. Her high school was pretty judgmental towards the 'queers' and her parents were no doubt against homosexuality. Sure, the Latina had her three friends, but she felt like they wouldn't understand her situation if she uttered a single sentence to them about it.

Then there was her best friend, Lauren.

Camila maybe, sort of blamed her predicament on her. Ever since they met two years ago in eighth grade, she was waging a war with her heart and her head.

Her heart told her to confess her feelings for the green-eyed girl whilst her head was convincing her to leave her heart out of it, considering her brain thought that emotions were mere traps to becoming harmed.

Her brain was scared of rejection.

Her heart believed freedom.

Camila would often scold herself for falling hopelessly in love. It was definitely unrequited love because Lauren had dated a few guys through the span of their friendship.

And it constantly hurt the younger one to witness Lauren a sobbing mess whenever she broke up with some boy. In those moments did Camila feel resentment and sorrow-for the both of them. She was angry for the boys who dumped her and sad because Lauren was sad. She also felt bitter towards herself for being a coward and felt gloomy because of her anxiety.

Camila really wanted to be stress free.

◇◇◇

Shades of emerald, sterling gray, and cerulean blue colored orbs looked at Camila's figure intently. They were currently seated next to each other on the living room couch in the smaller girl's house, the brown-eyed girl's right arm draped over Lauren's shoulder as the other intertwined their hands, her thumb rubbing circles over Camila's knuckle. Having studied Lauren's body language for as long as they've met, she knew she was trying to piece together the younger Latina's thoughts.

"Camz, what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" She asked, with a small smile gracing her lips.

Camila's gaze trained on Lauren's, replying with a shrug, "Oh, you know, the usual planning of what I want to eat later. Probably pizza. Perhaps a banana for a snack."

The older girl quirked an eyebrow up. That was the thing with Lauren; she could immediately tell whenever a person was sad, nervous---in this case, lying.

"Please don't lie to me, I know that's not what you're really thinking."

Camila licked and bit her lip, pondering if this was the right time. Well, they were both at peace, sitting in a comfortable position, nothing stressing them out (at least for Lauren), and had no parents in sight.

"Just thinking," she mumbled, sighing while her eyes averted down.

That wasn't exactly a lie, just a very vague answer.

"Thinking about what?" The older girl asked, gently squeezing her hand.

"My lack of sleep," Camila simply replied.

It wasn't like she didn't want to sleep, she just physically could not since her mind worked in overdrive and tended to wander when silence was welcome.

Lauren's free hand instinctively cupped her cheek. Actions like these always confused the other girl.

"You can call me anytime you have trouble sleeping," green eyes assured. "I'll crawl into your bed."

Camila's cheeks flushed pink, hoping she wouldn't notice. Since it was Lauren, she probably did. (Also, note the fact that her hand is still on her face.) She didn't mention anything about it, instead grinning.

"Then you'd be disturbed from your sleep every night," she joked.

"I honestly wouldn't mind that at all, Camz."

◇◇◇

Gazing at the moon (she always looked up to convince herself that her worries were minor and insignificant), Camila found herself once again thinking of dark thoughts. Like, what if people found out? What if people already knew? Was she being obvious? Were people judging her?

Her mind wandered many places and the girl came to the conclusion that the worst threat of all was yourself, because once your mind gave in to pain and darkness, there was no chance going back. At least that was Camila's mindset.

She always contemplated how the world would react if she just ... vanished. She guessed that no one really cared about her other than her family and friends. Other than them, she would be one of those people who died out of thousands, millions of others.

Insignificant.

Soon she'd be forgotten because that was how the world worked. People would mourn for her one day and the next, they'd be going on with their lives like nothing happened.

The brown-eyed girl rubbed her eyes, sighed, and then turned on her side on the bed to grab her phone. She unlocked it, squinting at the blinding light emitting from the device. She entered her contacts app, instantly finding Lauren's picture of them both and her number under 'Favorites'.

￼

Three rings later did she pick up. "You know you are calling me at ... " Lauren's raspy and sleepy voice said, pausing, "at two in the morning, right?"

Camila smiled softly at how adorable and grumpy she sounded. There was a few seconds of silence and breathing before she responded. "I'm aware of that. And I can't sleep."

Lauren yawned, nodding her head even though she knew her best friend couldn't see. "I'll be there in five." Good thing it was Summer, she didn't know how her best friend would answer if it were school the next day.

"Perks of living only a few houses away from the Cabello household," Camila said, chuckling.

"Correction: perks of living close by the Jauregui household."

"Whatever. May we meet again, Lo," she quoted.

"See you later, dork."

The call ended.

Approximately five minutes later, Camila heard a ding, signifying a notification.

Lauren [2:41 AM]: I'm here  
Lauren [2:41 AM]: how do I get in?  
Camila [2:41 AM]: go to the back  
Camila [2:42 AM]: ill be there to open the door

The younger girl sneaked out of her room, heading down the stairs.

Camila [2:43 AM]: be quiet!

Ironically, while she was trying to multitask, texting while walking, she accidentally tripped on air. Camila whispered an "ow", lifting her body back up, limping slightly from her knees colliding to the hard floor.

Lauren [2:43 AM]: lmao says the one who tripped  
Camila [2:44 AM]: you saw that!?  
Lauren [2:44 AM]: how could I not? I'm standing right in front of the backdoor

When she reached the door, she slowly lifted the lever to unlock the first and screen door. Slowly sliding them to the side, Lauren quietly slipped inside, giving Camila a one-armed hug in greeting while she was still chuckling. The clumsy girl rolled her eyes at her in , the tired one sticking her tongue out at her in response.

After their silent conversation, they locked the doors. Tiptoeing through the kitchen on their way to her room, Camila grabbed a banana.

"Really Camz?" Lauren whispered.

"Yeah, I get hungry!"

When they reached her room, Camila closed the door. They then plopped themselves on the younger girl's bed, lying sideways.

"Your bed's so comfy, how did I not plan on sleeping here before?" The older Latina joked, watching the other girl eat her banana.

"Because we always sleep at your house?"

"True."

When Camila finished her snack, she dropped it in the trash in the bathroom, brushing her teeth afterwards.

Walking back to her bedroom, she found Lauren's eyes shut, assuming she was already sleeping. The smaller girl walked timidly to her bed, lying her head on a pillow. She didn't want to face the green-eyed girl in fear that she would be enamored even more and in the fear that she wouldn't be able to look away.

Camila shut her eyes, trying to fall asleep. Yet she still couldn't. Perhaps Lauren wasn't actually sleeping and sensed that she was struggling, wrapping an arm around her waist to comfort and reassure her.

It turned out that the affectionate action did the opposite for the chocolate-colored-eyed girl. Her heart's beating sped up exponentially. Lauren's arm felt so warm, giving her a sense of security and risk.

She didn't know how long she could keep her mouth shut.

Instead of saying anything, Camila's body finally gave in to slumber.

◇◇◇

They woke up to each other laying in bed together, blankets sprawled around their bodies.

They both greeted each other "good morning" like it was totally normal for friends to sleep in each other's beds. Lauren went to take a shower and get ready while Camila checked her snapchat, spotting the rainbow flag.

That was how the green-eyed girl found Camila trying to hold back her tears. Lauren didn't know what happened, but her instincts told her to console the girl.

"What happened, Camz?" she questioned, wrapping the smaller one in to an embrace. Camila reciprocated, resting her head in the crook of her neck.

A tear slipped out. "I don't feel safe, anymore."

Lauren's eyebrows furrowed slightly, lips curving downward. "Because of Christina Grimmie's passing?" She knew how much her best friend admired the twenty-two year old singer.

"No," her voice cracked. "There was a mass shooting earlier this morning ... so many people died."

Lauren didn't know how much this affected Camila. Camila felt like she was a target now, vulnerable to getting shot. She didn't know any of the victims, but she empathized with their families and friends. She wasn't even out, yet she felt like she was exposed now. Like she was going to be killed because of who she was.

Camila sniffled, handing Lauren her phone, showing her the news. After a minute, she set the phone down, breaking their hug. The brown-eyed girl stared at her inquisitively through blurry sight, Lauren instead taking her hands and squeezing them in reassurance.

"It isn't going to happen to you."

"It could happen to anyone, though." _Especially me._

"Trust me, you'll be okay. It's gonna get better."

"How do you know that?" Although Camila wouldn't call herself a pessimist, she tended to see the bad before the joyful aspects. Another reason why she was petrified of confessing to Lauren. Lauren wasn't mean at all, she was actually the nicest person she had ever met, but the sixteen-year-old couldn't help but assume that she'd leave her.

"Because you're you," she simply stated.

That's when Camila stopped crying.

Camila covered her face with Lauren's shoulder, her body shaking as laughter bubbled up inside her. Lauren was probably questioning herself as to why she befriended a girl like her.

"What are you laughing at? I thought this was a sad moment," Lauren asked, an undertone of lightheartedness beneath her overall serious tone.

"You just quoted Lexa and now I'm picturing you as her. It's pretty funny," she answered amidst chuckles.

"Oh shit I did," Lauren sweared, grinning now that her best friend was in a slightly happier mood. "It just slipped out." (They both binge-watched shows and did movie marathons often when they were homework-free. One time they did a Disney marathon, then a Pixar marathon. A few weeks ago, they did a horror movie marathon much to Camila's dismay. It was worth it, though, since she earned the chance to get close to Lauren without noticing (too much).)

Once their laughter died down, Camila went back to the topic at hand. "Still, it's just not fair."

("Many things aren't fair," Lauren muttered.)

"Why isn't our country regulating guns? There has been enough crimes and murders and massacres to convince the people," Camila spoke.

"Yet we don't because the majority agree as conservatives to follow the Constitution and stick to it. They aren't willing to change. That's what is preventing people from establishing gun control. Perhaps they're scared."

"Fear doesn't solve anything ... "

"It doesn't," Lauren agreed, shaking her head. "Does that mean you're willing to do something?"

Camila hesitated, opening her mouth to say nothing. She nodded.

She hoped that her plan would work and not fail miserably.

◇◇◇

It was Friday when Camila called Lauren over to hang out since they both were busy out with family the last four days.

Lauren [3:39 PM]: your mom let me in  
Lauren [3:39 PM]: where are you?

The closeted (literally) girl bit her lip, nervous as hell, trying to type for her hands were quivering.

Camila [3:39 PM]: in my room  
Camila [3:40 PM]: you can come in

Lauren immediately replied.

Lauren [3:40 PM]: WHY? You usually meet me by the door  
Lauren [3:40 PM]: why* sorry autocorrect

Camila could feel her heart drumming erratically in her chest as she awaited for her bedroom door to swing open. It felt like the minutes were dragging on and on, in reality only being a minute until Lauren reached the door. She opened the door, "Camila? Uh, where are you?"

Camila gripped her phone tightly, feeling the edges putting pressure on her fingers. She breathed in and out, trying to calm her nerves. This was her only chance. _Three, two_ ..., she counted in her head

"Ahhhh!" Camila shouted, jumping on Lauren's back, startling her.

The older girl reacted by shaking her body off of her, perturbed. Camila fell on the floor, landing in a sitting position. Her friend glanced back at her, saying in between breaths, " ... hi? What's up?" _Did she just come out from her closet?_

The Cuban-Mexican girl waved to her awkwardly, still shaking, and rolled up her left sleeve. Even though Camila's hand writing was often times illegible, the words **I AM GAY** with the colors of the rainbow surrounding it in dots were clear as day. "Sorry ... " she squeaked, looking away from Lauren's eyes. She placed here hands in front of her face as if to hide and shield herself from harm.

"You ... you have nothing to be sorry about. If that's a part of what makes you you, I will support you all the way, Camz."

Tears prickled Camila's eyes, her breathing becoming shallower. She felt like she was going to break down. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to tell you. S-Sometimes I feel like you're the only one who will stick with me ... "

"Aww baby, you have all the time in the world prepare before telling anyone. And you're not alone. You are not the only one who has to deal with this," the green-eyed Latina started, lifting up her friend so she could stand up. Tears managed to escape her eyes. "It may not seem like it, but millions of others face the same struggle as you do."

Camila sighed, trying to wipe away her tears with her sleeve. "My parents won't approve, though. And they're the ones who are supposed to love me. It just ... _hurts_."

Lauren grab her arm, taking it away from her face, instead using her hands to angle up Camila's face so she could directly talk to her. Whenever tears rolled down, Lauren used her thumbs to wipe them away.

"If they don't accept you, then maybe they don't deserve you. To love someone is to appreciate and support every flaw and every aspect of that person."

"Do you support me?" Camila mumbled, slowly bring her left hand to her right un-revealed arm.

She didn't even hesitate or wait a second before announcing, "Of course I do."

"The thing is ... I haven't confessed to you everything," she licked her lips, looking at her sleeve that has lifted up to her wrist. Lauren eyed her arm dubiously, her eyebrows knitting together. She glanced back up to dark eyes.

"Camila is that ... "

She stayed silent, focusing on showing her arm.

"Camz, you don't need to show me if you don't want to. You're entitled to not wanting to show others---" Lauren said while turning away, getting cut off.

"Damn it, Lauren, it's not what you think," she cleared up, trying not to get frustrated. Lauren's assumptions made Camila stressed, which made her even more anxious. _Might as well just do it. Either I regret it forever or take off all the weight on my shoulders, freeing me. Shit._

She swiftly unrolled her sleeve, muttering a "please don't hate me, I'm sorry".

Etched on to her tan arm were the five words: **_I am in love with you._**


	2. she can't be what you need

They didn't talk about those six words.

It only took about ten seconds until Lauren fully processed what those words meant. Of course she knew what the definition of love was.

In response she just smiled at her best friend.

The problem with that reaction was that Lauren had not actually experienced what love truly was.

Camila did though.

And that smile---the type of smile that was painfully obviously fake and plastic---hurt Camila. (Usually she adored the green-eyed girl whenever she grinned at her, however this wasn't the case.) It was like falling to the ground when you really did not mean to fall to your death. It was like being stabbed in the heart, her chest almost physically aching.

The brown-eyed girl did not just love the older girl, no, she was in love with her.

(There's a difference between loving someone and being in love.

_Loving Someone (verb): wanting the best for them, whether it includes you or not._

_Being In Love (verb): They are your number one priority, over yourself and everything you know._  
_They are your world. And you can only wish to be theirs_.)

They didn't talk about it.

Instead, they went to the bathroom joined with her bedroom and washed all the words and colors off her skin.

Camila was clean of silly words and Lauren was relieved to not see them for another second.

◇◇◇

School started a week ago, meaning that it had been thirty-five days since Camila came out. Thirty-three days since they had last spoken or contacted each other.

It was a shitty summer for Camila, honestly.

Because of the silence between them, especially on her friend's side, she had started to feel insecure about herself and started to doubt their friendship.

Why did she have to fall for a straight girl, and her best friend at that?

She hated it but she couldn't stay away. She was a magnet, attracting to Lauren always.

Throughout the past week, Lauren acknowledged her presence and said hi to her and all that, but she never got too close with the smaller girl. During lunch, she would typically sit beside Camila. Now she wasn't. Camila and their three other friends noticed this.

Dinah would ask her what was wrong,  but she would answer with a "it's nothing", shrugging it off. Normani and Ally tried asking both sides, getting no hints.

This week was different.

It was during lunch when Lauren and Camila bumped into each other at the school library because they both were busy burying their noses into books. (Those nerds.)

"Oh, I'm sor---" Lauren started apologizing, stopping mid-sentence when she saw the girl's face. Shock washed over both their visages. "U-um," she stuttered intelligently.

Camila averted her eyes to the ground, the wall, the bookshelves, the windows. Anywhere other than her.

She wasn't ready for an encounter, she just wanted some quiet time for God's sake.

It was difficult to avoid her existence, though, when Lauren was looking absolutely beautiful every day without even trying.

"I should get going," Camila mumbled, turning around on her heel and shutting her book. Before she could walk, Lauren tugged on her sleeve.

"Wait."

The Cuban girl looked over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry if you felt like I was avoiding you."

Scanning the library, she grasped the older girl's backpack strap. "Let's have this conversation somewhere else. She walked them out/dragged Lauren to a corner of an empty hallway.

"Well, you were," Camila retorted quietly. She clutched the novel with her hands.

"What?" Lauren asked, confused by the sudden words.

"You said 'I'm sorry if you felt like I was avoiding you'," she cleared up, jogging the green-eyed girl's memory.

"Okay, I did and I'm sorry---"

"You should be, Lauren," Camila snapped, surprising her. Her shy exterior changed into one of pissed. Her voice was also lower, raspier. "You made me feel like shit all summer."

"Camz---"

"You're the first person I've ever told and you fucking avoided me. A-And I ... you ... " her voice cracked. She shook her head, trying to rid of the tears wanting to spring from her eyes. "It seems like you don't care about my feelings, is that it?"

Camila did not realize she had Lauren vulnerable and against the wall until she was done with her rant.

They both stared into each other's eyes, one person angry with tears and the other worried. They both were breathing heavily from the brown-eyed girl's words.

"I do care," Lauren whispered, distracted by the barely visible distance between them.

"Bullshit," Camila replied, her eyes seeming almost darker than they usually were. Lauren observed.

"You want to kiss me, don't you?" she stated bluntly. Usually she'd be sporting a grin if she caught on to something, but the pale Cuban's emerald eyes showed otherwise. They revealed genuine curiosity.

"N-No I don't," she stammered, taken aback by the sudden assumption. Well, she wasn't wrong. Lauren Jauregui's face was inches from hers, after all.

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't have said that. But I did and I do, alright? I don't care if you like girls or boys or people of other."

"But I like you," Camila affirmed in a hushed voice, her eyes boring into Lauren's like she was looking into her soul, stripping away all her barriers. You'd think her message would get across more strongly if she were to say it louder, more firmly, however her voice low and squeaky with insecurity yet laced with confidence sent chills down the raven-haired girl's spine.

Despite bringing up her crush on her with boldness for the second time now, she soon shrinked back into her bashful and nervous ways, biting her lip and looking away, making her seem smaller than she already was. Lauren stepped back.

"Yeah... and?" Lauren asked, raising a brow.

"You," the brown-eyed girl started, looking back, "don't see a problem with that?"

"I did," Lauren admitted, much to Camila's horror. "At first. I never questioned myself if I liked girls and I thought the same for you. So when you came out and said you were in love with me, I was really shocked. And I know it was a bitchy move for me to avoid you since you probably had to will yourself to tell me, so I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," Camila reassured in a soft voice.

"Yes I do, Camz. I made you feel insecure about yourself and I wasn't being the best friend I was supposed to be."

"Well you never were a best friend in my mind, anyway," Camila muttered, her gaze fixated on the ground.

"Maybe we could be something else."

Camila's head snapped up in surprise, her eyes wide. "What?"

Lauren wore a small shy smile, her hands behind her back. "If you want."

"But I thought you liked boys."

"Wouldn't hurt to try, right?"

(In the back of her mind, the smaller girl knew this was going to be a bad idea. She dismissed the thought, a grin growing on her face. Never did she think that this would soon hurt her deeply.)


	3. not in that way

Their friends found out they were dating a month later.

They didn't exactly get information on how or why or when they decided to become more than friends, but whatever because Ally, Normani, and Dinah had been rooting for "Camren" since day one.

It would have been expected for them to get on with the couple act, like most couples, however Lauren refused to show affection towards the smaller girl in public. Camila wanted to, though. Oh, did she want to.

(That was expected since, of course, Camila was _in love_ with her.)

◇◇◇

One day, Dinah pulled Lauren aside, during passing period to lunch, to the restroom. Making sure that the coast was clear, the Polynesian kept her tight grip on the pale Latina's wrist, stepping closer to tower over her.

Usually Lauren Jauregui was deemed as the intimidating girl in their friend circle, but Dinah was too when she wanted to. Also add the fact that Dinah was taller and stronger than her.

"Listen Lauren, I know that you're with Camila now but I _swear_ if you ever hurt Camila..." She threatened, her voice low.

"Dinah," Lauren cut off, her voice sharp. "What you're saying is utter bullshit. I'd never hurt Camila. She's my best friend."

Dinah's dark eyes scanned her face, seeing that she was scowling, her eyes squinted in that _are you fucking kidding me_ way.

The taller girl's expression softened. "That's all she is to you, isn't she."

"No," the green-eyed girl said, scoffing and rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms, shifting in her spot in the corner. This was a very uncomfortable situation for her. "No... it's not like that. We're seeing where this relationship goes."

"Exactly."

"Exactly."

"You know she's in love with you, right? She has since eighth grade."

"Yes, I know that."

The two-minutes-left bell rang, signalling they should be going to lunch now. The girls ignored it.

"I'm just saying..." Dinah trailed off. "Since you've taken the initiative to ask her out, Camila's probably expecting you to reciprocate her feelings soon."

"But I'm not sure if I can reciprocate---"

"Exactly!" Dinah shouted, startling Lauren.

"Exactly what?"

"You are straight!" Dinah hissed, her hold on her wrist becoming tight enough to harm her. "You will never give her everything she deserves! You're leading her on and I can't take it because you're going to break her heart to... to _fucking pieces_ ," she wailed, her voice cracking.

By now tears were starting to form in the blonde's brown eyes. Eager to wipe the tears and not break down by the thought of her best friend broken, Dinah turned around, her hands covering her face and her breathing uneven.

Concerned, Lauren apprehensively wrapped her arms around the taller's girl's waist.

"Dinah," Lauren murmured, her eyes glued to the floor. "I'm not going to hurt her. I want to see where this goes because Camz wants to be with me. Just trust me."

Dinah chuckled sadly, wiping away more tears. "God, it's just that it's _Camila_. I love her to death. I can't bear the thought, let alone image of her drowning in her tears because her best friend stabbed her heart."

"I'm not a murderer," Lauren joked.

"Ugh stop, you're making me laugh."

"That's my job."

"Your jokes are lame," she admitted, a hint of humor in her tone. "Anyway I trust you, but not too much."

"That's reassuring..."

Music started playing as they walked out of the restroom. They headed to the lunch line and then to their lunch table.

The three girls were talking about some guy in some class while Lauren quietly picked up her burger. Camila looked at her, smiling that adorable smile of hers. The green-eyed girl soon noticed and caught her staring, Camila immediately turning away, pink tinting her cheeks.

"Aw Camz, were you staring at me?" Lauren asked, grinning.

Camila couldn't seem to wipe off her goofy smile, instead shaking her head.

"Oh? But I'm pretty sure you did. A hundred percent sure."

"Ugh," she groaned, lowering her head into her hands. "It's just that you're so so beautiful and it almost hurts to look at you. You're ethtereal and everything that's impossible in this world."

Despite not trying to blush, Lauren did anyways. Camila was literally complimenting her every time they were together. Although it made her feel weird at first because she's her best friend, Lauren became used to it and started embracing Camila for all she was.

This was the real Camila.

Well, a version she would have never thought she'd envision.

This Camila was Camila-in-love.

◇◇◇

"Have you told your parents that we're together?" The brown-eyed Latina asked, her hands entertwined with Lauren's. They were in Lauren's room, watching a movie.

Lauren paused it, her gaze turning towards her.

"No," she replied, honestly. "But I assume you haven't either."

Camila shook her head. Well, _obviously_. She had a reason to keep their relationship a secret. "My parents would kill me if they found out," she murmured, looking at their hands. "Why haven't you told your parents?"

"I figured they would tell your parents."

(Actually the real reason why she didn't tell was because they weren't in a real relationship. They were just testing the waters, in Lauren's mind.)

"Oh. Okay."

Ever since the girls started going out, they have, in the nicest way possible, been more awkward. It was weird. Camila had never been with somebody, though, so she didn't know if this was normal or if this was strange. She guessed the latter.

On one particular after noon, Camila decided it was time to take the next step.

"So I came over to give you that gross ice cream you've always wanted---"

Cutting her off, Camila leaned forward, gently pressing her lips against her soft ones. At first, Lauren didn't move but when she did, she rested her hands on her waist while Camila draped her arms around the pale girl's shoulders. The smaller girl giggled against her lips when the cold ice cream container contacted her skin.

Pulling away, Camila's eyes widened in worry. "I'm so sorry I was just so excited that I---" she rambled, her hands animated.

Lauren set the ice cream on the kitchen counter, leaning into Camila once again seconds later. Lauren didn't know what this meant, but with the two of them smiling into the kiss was she sure that this felt... strange and oddly amazing.

She wasn't supposed to feel this way. Lauren was straight, after all. Dinah said it too.


	4. do i wanna know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been, like, 84 years since I've updated this. Oops.
> 
> Also i might've referenced Romeo and Juliet (I wrote the beginning in February but never continued yikes)

Sharing their first few kisses, Camila's hands wrapped loosely around Lauren's neck. She had expected kisses to be fireworks and explosions like the movies and novels described them to be, but instead she had her heart hammering against the other girl's chest to the extent she felt her heart almost palpitating from happiness and euphoria. The brown eyed girl savored the minty taste of the older girl's lips pressed to her own. Lauren smelled like vanilla and Camila nearly drowned in the comforting scent as she kept her grip on Camila's hips.

To describe their lips touching in the simplest way was to associate it with palms contacting each other in the most perfect way hands could, for their lips did what hands would.

Camila was discovering new things about herself every day now.

That moment, she told herself, was a reflection of her emotions and feelings and thoughts and everything she wanted. In that particular scene, she figured, was the Camila-kissing-Lauren feeling.

◇◇◇

Lauren ran her hand through her dark tresses, scanning her face for something Camila didn't know. She had just splashed her face with water and the younger teen was sitting on the countertop sink, still processing the fact that she had just kissed Lauren. Only in her dreams did she imagine that.

She couldn't help the grin forming on her lips no matter how hard she tried to suppress it---however, Lauren's words made it suddenly easy.

"We shouldn't have done that."

At this, Camila frowned in response, perplexed. She, in her opinion, thought the kiss ..er, kisses were amazing. (Especially since they were kinda her first kisses?) She wondered if Lauren felt the same way. The brown-eyed girl yearned for another kiss, wanting to revel in the moment all over again. And again. And again.

"Was I...bad?"

"Bad?" Lauren scoffed, finding the girl's question humorous. It was far from it, actually. The pale girl offered the tan one a hand, Camila jumping off the sink to walk with her. "No, of course not. I---I just think that we should take it slow. We've only been together for, what, two weeks?"

"I see your point," she replied, nodding to the floor. In the back of her mind, she was doubting that was the truth. She mentally shrugged it off, knowing that she could trust Lauren. She is her best friend before anything else.

"We should just stick to hugging and holding hands, alright? I mean, I'm mostly doing this for your sake."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm protecting you from being caught because you're scared. You _are_ afraid of being outed, aren't you?" With the way her green eyes were looking at Camila, it seemed like she was piercing through her soul. Like she was trying to intimidate her... or something.

What Lauren was saying was kind of odd, Camila thought.

"I guess. Well, yeah of course. I'm not ready for everybody to know just yet."

The raven-haired girl smiled in response, her happy aura coming back. "Let's watch some movies shall we? Plus, you can eat your gross ice cream while we're at it."

"It's not gross," Camila protested. They descended down the steps and back to the kitchen. (Lauren wanted a washcloth for some reason.)

She grabbed a spoon and opened the cover, gasping and groaning.

"What?" Lauren asked.

"It's been melting!"

"You should've put it in the freezer, dummy." Lauren rolled her eyes, walking over to see it turning soft. She put on the lid and swaggered to the fridge, bending down to put it in the freezer section.

"I would've but you kind of..." Was it safe to talk about it? It seemed like there was tension between them. Camila swallowed.

"Oh yeah. I'm still sorry about that." The weird thing was that she genuinely sounded sorry. The green-eyed girl turned around, her green eyes being expressive as ever.

"Honestly, Lo, it's not a big deal. It was just my dumb feelings taking over," she mumbled, warmth spreading through her cheeks in embarrassment.

Lauren grasped her hands, making the girl look directly at her. "Your feelings aren't dumb. If anything, they're the opposite because they're yours."

Camila's lips curled into a sheepish grin. "That was smooth, Jauregui."

"I wasn't trying to be," Lauren admitted. She licked her lips.

"See? Perfect even when you're not trying."

"And you say I'm smooth," Lauren muttered, chuckling. A blush crept on to her cheeks.

"Where's that movie you were talking about earlier?" Camila questioned, raising a brow with her lips still wearing a smirk.

"You up for horror?" she suggested, knowing very well what her reply would be.

"Ugh, you know I hate that stuff!"

"And I'm guessing you have something better in mind?"

"The Notebook?"

"Camz, I bet I could quote the whole script since we watch it like every week."

"Come onn! It's my favorite movie!"

Lauren sighed, not wanting to argue with the girl. She'd do anything for Camila if it made her happy and keep her smiling everyday.

"...fine then."

And the way the brunette's face beamed in excitement afterwards? _Worth it_ , Lauren thought.


	5. only told the moon

"I don't think I've asked this, but do you like me?"

"Like you? Yeah, obviously. You're my best friend."

"I meant in the way I like you."

"What's not to like? You are literally the epitome of adorable. I'm sure everybody secretly loves you."

"That's It? I'm just...adorable?"

"There's more to it than you think. I don't think you're aware of the way your smile brightens my day and how your laugh can light up a whole household. How your jokes make me feel like I'm on top of the world from dying of laughter. How you can go from cute to sexy in a matter of seconds. How your brown eyes can give away your emotions even when you don't verbally express them. How lovely and intelligent your mind is. How much it would pain me eternally if you left me."

Despite Lauren's very candid confession of what she thought of Camila, her actions in public contradicted her speech.

Whenever the brown eyed girl tried to intertwine her hand with the girl's, she'd be met with apprehension from the latter. The pale Latina would often move her hand away, saying how she wasn't comfortable showing PDA. ("I don't think it's necessary to show the world we're dating.")

Was holding hands something only lovers did?

Camila was puzzled, reminiscing the times they would often do it before she came out.

Even though she was flattered by the green eyed girl's compliments, they didn't stop her from thinking pretty negative things.

Like, how Lauren was just putting an act for Camila's happiness. Or how she was probably straight and considered her a mere experiment. Or how Lauren didn't feel at ease with her anymore with the knowledge that she liked girls in a way that wasn't supposed to exist.

Perhaps that was just Camila's anxiety talking though.

◇◇◇

In freshmen year, Camila read Romeo and Juliet for English. Albeit there were many notable quotes, there was one particular quote that caught her eye.

It was during balcony scene where Romeo wanted to talk to Juliet after the ball.

It went like this: _"O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circle orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable. Don't swear by the moon."_

Camila once considered not to label Lauren as her moon. However now she wasn't so sure.

Like the moon, Lauren had her phases. And even if she had her bad moments, she was still Lauren Jauregui; she was still the girl the brown eyed Latina fell for.

 


	6. caught in a lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get.... even more angsty (;

If repeatedly not showing public affection, let alone hand holding, then Lauren referring Camila as just her friend to her parents took the cake.

Deciding to walk home from school together, they entered the Jauregui household.

"Oh hey, Camila! Planning to stay for dinner?" Mike, Lauren's dad, asked.

"Um," Camila hesitated. She bit her lip (a nervous habit she developed at a young age), glancing her eyes to the green-eyed girl who patiently waited for her answer, smiling. Who could say no to that smile? Camila's heart was under arrest, anyway. "Yeah, yeah, I'll stay for dinner. Just gotta tell my parents."

Mike nodded, leaving them to their own devices.

The dark-eyed teen dialed her mom's cell as they both climbed up the stairs. "Yes I'm with Lauren... I'll come home after dinner... love you too, mami."

"That's a yes?" Lauren questioned, turning her head.

"All is good," she replied, smiling with one side.

Swinging open her door (and then closing it afterwards), the pale Latina dropped her bag on the hardwood floor and plopped herself, along with her phone, carelessly, on the bed. Her dark mane sprawled all over the bed, her arms spread out from each side. Camila was more graceful (which was unusual because clumsiness), what with sitting slowly on mattress.

With all the unpredictability encapsulating Lauren's presence, the smaller girl soon became used to what was before comfortablity and ease with apprehensiveness.

However with all that soft and silky looking hair just waiting to be admired and touched, Camila couldn't help but run her fingers through them. Lauren grinned softly at the girl, her emerald eyes shining with delight---like she was worth something.

"That feels...really nice," she mumbled, sighing contently.

"Glad my hands are of some use other than being clumsy," the tan Latina joked, trying to play it cool as her face was gradually getting warmer by the minute. (Who would blame her? Lauren's stare had always made her feel like she was being looked into.) "Plus your hair's really soft."

"Is it?" she said rather mischeviously.

She hummed in response, smiling fondly. "Your eyes also look very... _captivating_ right now."

"Boosting my ego here, Camz. What's next, complimenting my skin?"

 _I could think of a couple things...,_ Camila thought impishly. She swallowed in an attempt to let go of those thoughts.

"I could say a lot of things about you---"

"Hopefully good things," Lauren cut off. Camila playfully glared at her.

"Of course... um, like your lips," she said coyly. Camila internally cringed at her totally-not-smooth-self. Why was she so embarrassing? She released an awkward laugh.

Amusement flickered in the other girl's eyes. "My lips?" Camila gingerly nodded, a shy smile gracing her lips. "Well, how about yours? Your smile is beautiful."

"You're just saying that," she said, rolling her eyes and scoffing in disbelief.

Lauren decided to sit up, Camila's hand falling to the bed. She shook her head, a genuine look of confusion and dismay adorning her face. "No, no I'm not. You really are beautiful, okay?"

Camila bit and licked her lips, dark eyes staring with stern and intent glimmering them. "Then prove it to me," she whispered.

"I don't think I need to do anything drastic to prove my point," the green-eyed Latina retorted, a hint of a smirk playing on lips.

"I get that you're all for girl empowerment...but doesn't that also mean that girls support girls?" Camila quirked up an eyebrow.

Lauren slowly nodded. "Yeah, it does."

"Then where's the support right now?"

With the look of subtle surprise in her eyes, Camila couldn't help wanting to be closer to her. Just _anything_ to ease the tension building up inside the younger girl.

Leaning in slowly, her lips softly touched Lauren's plump ones in a chaste kiss. Not getting enough, Camila placed her right hand on the nape of her neck, the other grasping her arm gently. Lauren began to reciprocate, gripping the girl's waist and pulling her in closer (as if they weren't close enough), and pressing a hand to her cheek. Breathing in through her nose, Camila exhaled out a quiet laugh; she's been wanting to do this.

Then the kisses became hungrier. Picking up the pace, Camila gently pushed the green-eyed girl to lay on the bed as she crawled on top of her. Barely separating, Camila asked, "Is this okay?" Their breaths mingled together for they were only mere inches apart.

Lauren instantly replied with, "Definitely. Better than okay," while giggling sweetly.

Her laugh was pure music to the dark-eyed Latina. It made her think of that one line in that song, going: _I hear an_ _opus_ _when we kiss_ _that_ _completes my life_. Never in her life did a lyric connect deeply to her than in this moment.

Even if Lauren Jauregui was inconsiderate and paranoid and ignorant to Camila's feelings a lot of the time, she relished in the moments like this one. Yes, their relationship and situation---or whatever this was---was not ideal, however she felt like it was a privilege to be Lauren's _significant other_.

Grinning wide as if all was right with the world, Camila stared lovingly into viridescent eyes and kissed her again and again and again with her hands placed one the pale Latina's cheeks.

Lauren's hands were tangled in the brunette's tresses, gently tugging on her hair. Camila let out a quiet moan as her hands travelled down to the raven-haired girl's jeans, latching her fingers through the belt loops.

"Hey," Lauren said, pulling away. (Camila wanted to groan out loud.) Her voice came out breathless. "Slow down there, Camz, don't try getting into my pants _just_ yet."

"Wasn't planning to," she replied, adoration written all over her face. She chuckled lowly. "Unless you want to."

"Woah, you're getting a bit needy," the older girl joked, lifting a brow in a suggestive matter.

"You're the one that brought it up!"

"And _you_ are the one with your hands on my pants."

(There was something about Lauren after making out with her. It was like she didn't care about what people thought---what she thought about herself. It was at these times did she seem the most _free_.)

"And where do you suggest I place them?"

"..."

"Exactly." The brown-eyed girl smirked. Despite saying that, she used her hands to sit herself on the older teen's waist.

Lauren lifted herself up, using her elbows to see Camila better. "At least I wasn't moaning," she cameback, tilting her head. Camila blushed and slapped a hand to her face as pink warmth painted her cheeks almost immediately. She averted her dark eyes anywhere but at the girl beneath her.

"That was one time!"

"Relax...it was cute," Lauren genuinely admitted.

"Actually it was embarrassing, but whatever you say, Lo."

"It just means that I'm _amazing_."

"Obviously. You have more experience," Camila remarked, rolling her eyes.

"You could change tha---"

Three knocks were heard against the door. The two girls scrambled out of each other's embrace, the raven-haired girl pushing the brunette off the bed in shock and fear.

("Lauren, what the fuck," Camila whispered while groaning.)

"Lauren! Camila! Dinner is ready and everybody's waiting for you guys to come down!" Chris grumbled. He was clearly hungry.

Wow, they really got caught up with themselves that time seemed to go by fast.

Lauren got off the bed, sheepishly lifting the girl off the floor.

"Lo, what---"

"I got scared," she explained, holding the girl's hands in her own. "I'm sorry, Camz," she apologized, pouting.

Camila sighed. "Apology accepted, but you didn't have to react that way."

Lauren quickly pecked her lips. "I know, it was a mistake."

Seeing her still frowning, she gave her more and more quick kisses until she started to giggle and reciprocate.

Still holding her hand, Lauren opened her door and led them down to the dining table.

◇◇◇

Everyone's dishes were already set up so they ended up sitting beside each other.

"So," Clara Jauregui, Lauren's mom, started. "What is this?" She gestured  her fork between the two girls.

"What is what?" Lauren questioned, puzzled.

"You guys didn't hear us shouting dinner was ready."

"We were busy studying for the physics test in two weeks. We were caught up in the moment," the green-eyed Latina lied. "Right, Camz?"

("'Camz'?" Taylor muttered to herself.

 _I sure_ _didn't_ _hear equations and shit when I was at the door. Plus, studying for a test that far away?_ , Chris thought as he stabbed a noodle with his fork.)

"Yeah," the tan girl added, nodding.

"I thought you and Mila were..." Chris mumbled. "Uh, together, I guess."

Taylor discreetly nodded in agreement.

Lauren scoffed. "That's too much, a _huge_ stretch. We're just friends. Nothing's going on...What do you _think_ we were doing?" she rambled, furrowing her brows in disgust.

Oh.

_Oh._

Lauren just shut 'Lauren and Camila' down. Whatever _that_ was.

Kissing and suggesting things in one minute. Then denying anything _weird_ between them the next minute.

 _Then what_ is _this? What is she doing? Why the hell did she offer to date me if this is what the reality is?_ Taking a deep breath, Camila bit her cheek, willing to not let the lump in her throat get any worse. Willing to not let the tears form. Because this was just..." _too much"_.

"Lauren, we were just curious," Mike Jauregui softly interjected, his eyes clearly showing confusion and something else...sadness? Perhaps he saw Camila's expression. Everyone did, really (except Lauren, who refused to not look anywhere but her plate).

"I'm sick of people making assumptions. Especially now that even my own family is questioning me."

"We weren't assuming. Plus, there's nothing wrong with it anyway," Clara reassured.

Suddenly the urge to break down was near so Camila took matters into her own hands. Pushing her chair aside, she stuttred out, "E-Excuse me, I gotta _go_. My mom s-said I had to leave after dinner."

Rushing upstairs into Lauren's room, she swiftly grabbed her belongings and went out the door. Once out of the house, tears instantly streaked her face, her hand flying up to her eyes to wipe them away.

"Damn it," she swore to herself. "Shit, I---" She then started sobbing. _Fuck her. Why? Why did she have to do_ _that_ _?_

She had so many questions, and many of them didn't have any answers.

◇◇◇

Lauren [8:47 PM]: Why'd you leave so early? I would have gladly walked you home. (:

Camila [9:02 PM]: dont talk to me

Camila [9:03 PM]: i hate you


	7. boys

"Have you ever thought and asked yourself why she may be acting like this?" Normani questioned, raising a brow in suspicion. Lauren had just shown her the texts, her expression wearing a puzzled one like it had been the past days.

She tried talking to the brunette multiple times, ranging from calls, texts, trying to sit next to her on the bus (Camila recently started going to the closest available seat), visiting her locker (she somehow rushed to class or was _wherever_ she was before the green-eyed teen arrived), and attempting to grab the seat next to her at lunch (much to her dismay, as Dinah gladly took it first).

Lauren sighed through her nose, tilting her head up at the blank ceiling if her bedroom. Just a few days ago were they kissing like there was no tomorrow in that same room. However now it seemed like that was ages ago.

"I remember accidentally pushing her off the...bed"--- she blushed slightly at the memory ---"because I got freaked out when my brother knocked on the door."

"Reflexes, I'm guessing," the dark-skinned girl noted, although there was a hint of it being a question at the tip. As if she was doubting her or... _something_. Why would she, though?

The pale Latina nodded. "I was scared; thought he opened it."

The black-haired teenager thought it was understandable because _who wants their family to_ _stumble_ _upon them making out with their special whoever?_ She smiled in empathy, resting a hand on the girl's shoulder in reassurance. "I see. I wouldn't want my parents either to see me kissing my boyfriend---"

Vibrant eyes met dark. "No."

"'No' what?"

The smaller of the two pursed her lips, darting her eyes to the framed polaroid of all five of them, Normani and Ally and Dinah and Camila and her, laughing candidly, atop her dresser.

"They don't know about Camila and I being _together_ together."

◇◇◇

"Maybe she---I think she's just not ready."

"Not ready? Then why did she give us a chance in the _first_ _place_?" Camila asked, her voice rough and scratchy from all her previous crying outbursts.

"She does like you in that way, I'm sure of it..."

"She typically doesn't want to hold hands, kiss me, let alone look at me in that way she doesn't with other people in public. Does that sound like attraction to you?"

Dinah tilted her head, giving the girl a pointed look. "From all that info, it sounds like she isn't ready to come out. In this situation, Mila, you just ... gotta love her and be patient with her. She'll come out when she's ready. I don't think these feelings are new, but it's the first time she's acted on them."

"But I don't think she accepts it herself," Camila mutters, realization striking her.

"And you do..?"

"At least I know that I'm gay and starting to come out. I feel like...I feel like my family wouldn't tolerate it, though."

"Just like I said with Lauren, you'll come out when you're ready."

"Wow DJ, you're actually being...wise---"

That's when Dinah reverted back to her usual self, lightly punching Camila's arm. "Shut up, Walz."

"Okay okay. We should've started our homework already, it's Sunday."

"It's your dramatic ass that made us pro--- uh, procrastinate!"

The brunette proceeded to search through her folders while flipping the Polynesian off.

◇◇◇

Monday rolled around and Camila was nowhere to be found. (Well, _Lauren_ couldn't find her.)

They shared three classes together: lunch, chemistry and AP Economics---all of which were later in the day. Usually their whole group would meet up at Ally's locker on the second floor, however Dinah and Camila didn't show up.

The green-eyed girl asked Ally and Normani if they knew where they were, but they shrugged with nonchalance, claiming they were discussing about a project soon due.

"They could've talked about it here...?" Lauren commented, lifting an eyebrow and tilting her head in perplexity.

"I heard it's really important," Ally replied quickly.

So that was that.

Now the light-skinned Latina had to wait until lunch to talk to Camila.

The time then came, and Lauren was eager to see her. Stopping by her locker to get some textbooks for her next classes, she spotted the silhouette of a tall boy with a small girl. Zipping up her bag, and slamming her locker shut, she walked past them. But when she turned her head to look, she noticed it was Austin Mahone, the star quarterback, with... _Camila?_ He sported dark gray joggers along with a maroon letterman jacket. His hair was styled in the typical fuckboy fashion that annoyed Lauren. She had always despised him.

Identifying them, Lauren felt something running through her veins. It was like anger but more. Was it jealousy? She shook that thought out of her head. Why would she be jealous? She rounded a corner and watched them interact.

Camila was smiling adoringly at the brunette boy, the curl of her lips accentuating the pink of them. Austin laid a hand on her tan shoulder while grinning with that glint in his eyes, and the green-eyed Latina was internally screaming. What the hell were they talking about?

For every action there's a reaction, so when the boy put his hand on her, Camila softly shrugged his hand off. Austin seemed confused at first but when she small girl said something Lauren couldn't make out, his facial expression contorted into understanding.

Thinking of the worst, the pale teen silently balled her hands into fists.

A felt as if minute passed and then they were both done talking. Before splitting, Camila wrapped her arms around his torso and he did the same.

Once they parted and left the scene, Lauren waited for a few seconds until she walked to the cafeteria.

She got her food and went to the group. Spotting her best-friend-slash-unofficial-whatever-she-is eating a pizza, she immediately tried to find a spot next to her.

Realizing Camila sat at the end of their rectangular table, Lauren opted to sit beside Normani. (Normani and Ally sat next to each other while Camila and Dinah and Dinah's bag sat across.)

"Hey guys," Lauren greeted. The three responded. "Hello Camz," she said, grinning at her. Camila, however, continued to look at her tray of food not even bothering to acknowledge her presence.

The raven-haired girl swallowed and tilted her head, perplexed. _Um, okay then..._ _maybe_ _she didn't hear me?_

Lauren attempted at saying hi to the girl, yet the same thing happened.

The rest of the period was spent sneaking glances at the Cuban girl, to which the latter outright ignored her. It hurt.

When the bell rang, signalling the ened of lunch, Camila quickly rushed out of her seat and grabbed her backpack. Before Lauren could even say "wait up!", she was far away.

"Why's Ca---" she started, addressing the girls, but they were gone too.

The pale girl sighed, grabbing her bag's strap.

◇◇◇

It was the end of the day and it was safe to say this was one of the worst days. Camila acted as if she didn't exist. This never happened before. If this were to be repeated for the next few days, Lauren was sure she'd die from heartbreak.

About to exit the school, a voice was heard. It reeked boy; it was Austin who was calling her. "Lauren!"

Willing herself not to roll her eyes, because as if this day could get any worse, she turned to him.

"That's my name."

"I wanted to talk to you about Camilla."

 _Uncultured swine, my God_. Lauren hated when people pronounced her friend's name wrong. Like, you've known her for years, yet you _still_ don't know how to say her name? Unbelievable.

"It's  Cam- _ee_ -la," Lauren corrected.

"Camila," Austin repeated. He shook his head shortly, adjusting the position of his bag. _"I was wondering if_ _I_ _could date_ _your_ _girlfriend."_

" _What_?" Lauren snapped, incredulous.

"I said if it'd be okay if I could have Camila as a study buddy. Uh, I'm failing my Spanish class, clearly by my prounounciation of Camila, and I was told that she'd be a....good partner." He looked at her strangely. Was she imagining that?

"Of course? I'm her friend, not her mom." Austin's lips subtly curled up at that.

"My parents are usually away from home so... I was thinking me and Camila--"

"Camila and I."

"That we could study at her house."

Wait what? Wouldn't a guy like him want to be _alone_ with a girl?

"Wouldn't it be more convenient to go to yours?"

The brunette boy quirked an eyebrow. "You're okay with that?"

"Ugh, no! I mean--- no. Why are you asking _me_ , anyway?"

"I figured you guys hang out a lot and I don't want to cause something."

 _Wow, that's actually nice._ "Oh."

_"So you don't_ _mind_ _me stealing your girlfriend?"_

"She's _not_ my girlfriend."

"I never said that...? I said I didn't want to make you jealous or something, 'cause she's...your friend."

"You won't."

"Cool. See ya later," he said, walking past her.

She rolled her eyes. Why the hell would she be jealous. It's not like Camila was hers.

**Author's Note:**

> I had written this in the summer and wanted to send a message about gun control at the time.


End file.
